Shay’s AS Work : Main Task : TASK

https://shaypage009.wixsite.com/aormedia

1st EDIT

REFLECTION

My first edit with the footage was eye opening, it showed me scenes that I had filmed that I initially had thought to be solid scenes with good lighting were terrible, grainy and in many cases inaudible which posed a large problem.My solution to this was to reshoot said scenes but with more attention to detail in each of them and watch them back through. The beginning’s lighting causes the scene to be weak and the makeup used in the scene is basic and unrealistic. On that topic is definitely need more close-ups to establish a sense of connection to the character. what I also realised was my overuse of establishing panning shots so I definitely need less upwards panning shots in the city scene. Lastly, I need to improve audio in each of the parking lot scenes and the bridge scene. This will be difficult because the ambient sound of the city to make it realistic but I need to find a way to edit it because it is inaudible currently.

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The comments pretty much establish everything I’ve seen has gone wrong, given me ideas of improvements and shots which need more editing.

FIRST EDIT STRENGTHS

  • There is a good plot/ concept behind each shot.
  • the idea is there the execution of editing and filming is poor.

FIRST EDIT WEAKNESSES

  • The beginning’s lighting causes the scene to be weak, makeup is bad.
  • needs more close-ups to establish a sense of connection to the character.
  • Needs less upwards panning shots in the city scene.
  • Need to improve audio in each of the parking lot scenes and the bridge scene.
  • need to reshoot the ending of the scene
  • need more shots to establish a sense of connection to Carlos
  • need to fix panning shots

I’ve included some screenshots of my first edit and what edits I’ve made so far.

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To do List:

  • Fix Lighting
  • Add more close ups
  • cut panning shots
  • more shots to connect with Carlos

 

SECOND EDIT  

REFLECTION

Overall I am really pleased with my second edit primarily because I’ve now seemed to have gotten the shots I wanted and the portrayal of all of my characters personas have developed since the first edit. I feel as if I was successful in making Carlos a more relatable character and letting the audience empathise him with the opening sequence and the description 0f him by his father was very positive so it makes his betrayal later in the film a little more painful. I feel as though some of the camera work can definitely be improved on however so I may have a reshoot of some scenes, the plot however I feel can stay unchanged as it seems to be simple yet intriguing at this current point. The sound effects I included were quite basic and I look to improve them in my next edit as well as re-recording some of the audio and recordings over the top of some shots. Some other target will be to maybe start on a title sequence and focusing on the placement of the title sequence be it conventional (at the end) or in the middle or even as the story unfolds.

Comments

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The initial comments I received from the second edit were a lot to do with some camera shakiness, sound effects and character audio. I took this on board for preparation in my third edit, re-shooting some scenes over the weekend and recording/ re-recording the audio on the scenes.

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SECOND EDIT STRENGTHS

  • Good use of music to build tension
  • Good location
  • Better range of camera angles
  • Good use of makeup and fake blood.

SECOND EDIT WEAKNESSES

  • Dialogue needs re-recording
  • needs to stabilise some shots
  • work on sound effects being more realistic
  • Longer title credits
  • Shanghai sequence title can be fixed up

To do List:

  • Dialogue needs re-recording
  • needs to stabilise some shots
  • work on sound effects being more realistic
  • Longer title credits
  • Shanghai sequence title can be fixed up

I’ve included some screenshots of my second edit and what edits I’ve made since the first edit, as you can see I’ve introduced sound effects and started using the colour board along with filters and re-recorded footage and sound to enhance it from the first edit.

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THIRD EDIT

REFLECTION

Overall I am really pleased with my third edit primarily because I feel as if the film is really progressing in terms of taking shape as a believable story and edits are good quality and are creating the desired tension. the Dialogue that needed re-recording has all been re-recorded and been rendered into the film, the parking shots have been stabilised, I’ve tried to improve the sound effects and make them more realistic. The titles have been made longer and the shanghai opening was stabilised as well. I’ve also started my title sequence and I feel this is a good first try at it, it can be improved by being slightly shorter. Also the final scene with Micahel and Max I’ve improved by removing the echo. However, there are still a lot of improvements needed to make my fourth edit better just from re-viewing it. My voice enhancements on the kidnapper’s voice are a bit too static and horrible, they can be improved. the title sequence is lacking the emphasis and suspense I’d like it to have. to opening scenes shots and close ups are good, however, I feel as if some of the close-ups could possibly be shorter or maybe even closer (Extreme close up). I’ve also seemed to have figured out how to revamp the sound on the bridge scene, I can use bad take and overlay the sound in the fourth edit.

Upon reflection I think my weakest scenes are the parking lot scene and the mask scene explanation, my initial explanation for his sudden indignation of sight is he’s farsighted, and the sudden light and close-up is what regains his sight, upon reflection I think I should have him maybe find his glasses on the floor or the kidnapper give him his glasses in the fourth edit. secondly, the parking lot scene needs a lot of work so I think I will re-film it and use it as a flashback scene at the beginning when he’s squinting etc in pain.

Comments

The comments mainly focused on the volume and soundscape of the piece, I need to obviously work on the volume of the piece as that was the main concern.

THIRD EDIT STRENGTHS

  • Good use of music to build tension
  • Good location
  • Better range of camera angles
  • Good use of makeup and fake blood.

THIRD EDIT WEAKNESSES

  • Dialogue needs re-recording
  • needs to stabilise some shots
  • Ambient sound is very predominant and echoed in opening shots
  • parking lot scene and the mask scene needs explanation
  • Needs re-filming parking lot scene to empathise with Carlos more

To do List:

  • Dialogue needs re-recording
  • needs to stabilise some shots
  • work on ambient sound
  • Need to re-film parking lot scene to empathise with Carlos more

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Here are some more screenshots of the editing process

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FOURTH EDIT

REFLECTION

For my fourth edit, I have incorporated much of the criticism I received from my third edit and turned it into an idea for re-plotting. I have changed the weakest parking lot scene into POV flashback scenes at the beginning, I Have also changed the ending to focus more on the significance of the Ambassador and less on the kidnapping and I’ve changed the title sequence at the end of the opening. However, this leads me to my weaknesses in this edit.

The Flashbacks in this edit are poorly timed and can be better edited, The plot of this storyline can be improved by furthering the relationship/showing the relationship between Carlos and Michael.The credits in the opening sequence goes too quickly and are difficult to read, Sound is still very dodgy and is very distorted and diegetic sound is prevalent in speaking scenes.The voice of the kidnapper isn’t masked enough either which can be changed depending on viewer preference.

COMMENTS

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The comments pretty much reflected my errors and where I can improve, for my next edit I want to focus on trying to connect the kidnapping scene to the Ambassador scene.

FOURTH EDIT STRENGTHS

  • Good use of music to build tension
  • Better ending
  • Flashback idea is good.

FOURTH EDIT WEAKNESSES

  • Flashbacks in this edit are a good touch but they are poorly timed and can be better edited, they are at the end of each close up which dis-consorts viewers slightly, opening scene of the tap is quite weak, and seems to pose no significance.The plot of this storyline is now less confusing however I think that you can improve it by maybe explaining the relationship/showing the relationship between Carlos and Michael better and maybe delving more into the kidnapping slightly as it currently seem a little disjointed.The credits in the opening sequence goes too quickly and are difficult to read, they don’t let viewers focus on both the action and the credits which mean we miss things out, maybe leave them on for longer. The final credits can definitely be retimed and improved.Sound is better in this edit but still needs work with equalisation and noise removal when any and all of the speaking is on. It is very uncomfortable to watch when it has bad/ disjointed ambient and diegetic sound.

    The voice of the kidnapper isn’t masked enough in my opinion, you could improve this by increasing the effect used on the voice, it sounds too much like Carlos.

To do List:

  • Flashbacks need re-editing
  • Explain relationship between Carlos and Michael
  • Credits need slowing down
  • Sound needs rerecording with Kyle and Michael
  • Remask the voice of kidnapper

Fifth Edit

REFLECTION

For my fifth edit I improved on the connection between Carlos and the ambassador as I set out to, but upon peer reviews and re-watching I’ve decided my new target for the sixth edit will be to clear up Michaels audio because that became distorted and echoey again, work on framing and cropping of the ambassador scene and try to cut out the salt and pepper as much as possible, work on a more dramatic ending and maybe try and make the reading scene more concise and interesting possibly by layering.

COMMENTS

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The comments show the notification provides a continuity error, however this can be fixed when rerecording the audio to say ‘texted’ instead of ‘text’ saying he texted him 2 minutes ago and its a reminder notification. The comment on the green doors I’ve tried to fix but ultimately proves more trouble than it’s worth as well as it not bothering anyone else.

FIFTH EDIT STRENGTHS

  • Good use of music to build tension
  • Better flashbacks
  • Credits are slowed
  • Voice masking better

FIFTH EDIT WEAKNESSES

  • Dialogue needs re-recording, AGAIN
  • needs to stabilise some shot, AGAIN
  • need a reaction shot and a better ending
  • needs a sound motif for realisation

To do List:

  • Dialogue needs re-recording, AGAIN
  • needs to stabilise some shot, AGAIN
  • need a reaction shot and a better ending
  • needs a sound motif for realisation

 

Sixth Edit

REFLECTION

For this edit, I noticed Michael is still too echoey so my main focus is rerecording and reintegrating him as well as Kyle again, possibly changing his dialogue into a phone call from ‘Andrew’. Also, I need to consider a soundtrack for the opening possibly for extra tension and maybe including a sound motif for the realisation.

COMMENTS

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The comments pointed out an error I had neglected to see to this point and its the phone ringing so that will be one of my major changes in the next edit, I also had a comment on the phone case in the kidnapping scene but I decided that despite it being unconventional it’s there playing on the idea of school children and that little sense of reckless abandonment and immaturity that eventually has them caught.

SIXTH EDIT STRENGTHS

  • Good use of music to build tension
  • Better flashbacks
  • Better establishing connection
  • better ending

SIXTH EDIT WEAKNESSES

  • Dialogue needs re-recording, AGAIN
  • needs to stabilise some shot, AGAIN
  • Sound motifs
  • Phone ringing

To do list:

  • Re-record Michael because he’s too echoey
  • Create sound motifs
  • re-time voice over at 1:52
  • consider music at beginning
  • phone ringing

 

SEVENTH EDIT/ PROVISIONAL FINAL EDIT

This is my provisional final edit, all the pieces are where I’d like them to be, I’m just leaving it over the weekend to accumulate thoughts, comments and ideas if anyone could find any errors or improvements.

FINAL EDIT

14 thoughts on “Shay’s AS Work : Main Task : TASK”

  1. Shay, really like the dramatic music to create a sense of panic within the audience. The closeups at the beginning are really stable and I love the change of focus from the blood in the bath to the blood on his face. At 1 minute I feel as though the dialogue needs to be louder as I couldn’t hear what he was saying over the music. At 49 seconds the tilt upwards of the building shakes a little- perhaps try some more stabilisation? Love the hand-held camera with him walking through the carpark, however at the kidnapping part I think the car skid and him shouting shout be louder to make us jump more? Great though- well done!

  2. at one point he says he can’t see but then he manages to see the guy in the mask perfectly clear, also i don’t think theres much need to do a tilt shot of 2 different buildings. However the editing is amazing, especially with sound which is well timed. You also have some really good shots and steady camera work specifically when you’re tracking carlos.

  3. Overall yours shots and editing is really good, along with the music used. I think the lighting used in the conversation could’ve been better but its fine. The stabilisation on Carlos walking through the multi-storey is a little obvious. But other than that, really good shots and concepts.

  4. at 33 seconds his vision suddenly goes from blurred to full vision when seeing the guy in the mask. Also, there isn’t much reaction to seeing the masked man from Carlos.
    This has really progressed well and the location shots as well as sounds work really well throughout the film.
    At 1:36, Carlos gets cut off slightly and his whole body isn’t in frame.
    Great ending to the film with talking over the phone

  5. Very good, at the beginning when Carlos can’t find his glasses, you could have a pair on the floor and do a close up of his hands finding them and then when he puts them in the man in the mask it there. The soundtrack is very good, it builds up anticipation and mystery throughout the opening. Finally, the ending titles were on for a bit too long.

  6. Really like the fast paced cuts at the beginning at the beginning and when the CCTV affect when Carlos is in the Carpark.Possible make the titles disappear of the screen faster but overall very god.

  7. Comment on 4th edit:
    The tyre screech in the multi storey seem too loud and overpowering.
    The transparent paper over the shot of Michael reading is very effective.
    When Carlos turns around he doesn’t seem particularly shocked or scared (especially compared to the way he is talking).

  8. when Carlos wakes up the dripping stops, i think it would sound better if you stopped the dripping when the masked comes on screen. Apart from that its really good love the way the pages move across the screen, editing is very impressive.

  9. The title at the end looks really good thats a well worked improvement. Also since the first few edits the plot has really thickened and made it much better.

  10. The flashbacks at 40 seconds are very good and I like the way in which they pace of the cuts between them increases, brining the audience back to the present time when Carlos is tied up, the dripping and slow pace of it is also very good

  11. Great final edit, editing is very strong throughout and overall a massive improvement each time you did different edits.
    The ending i feel is very effective and leaves me wanting to watch more.
    The use of location shots linked in with the car park and where Michael is really effective- well done

  12. The beginning of your 6th edit is much better, I like the changes. However, I still think there’s a time problem in the Shanghai scenes like I said in my last comment. Also, when the writing comes up on the screen when Michael reads the papers, that’s a good idea and it’s effective but it could be slightly clearer, either by accentuating other words or maybe changing the opacity I’m not too sure. Finally, the “aren’t you missing something” is a much better ending as the audience is then more curious and wants to see more.

  13. Overall really good seventh edit! The phone call is better but it could sound a bit more “voice on the phone” if that makes sense (and if that possible), other than than I really like it, and the transition between the credits at the end is very effective. Well done!

  14. Overall really good seventh edit! The phone call is better but it could sound a bit more “voice on the phone” if that makes sense (and if that possible), other than than I really like it, and the transition between the credits at the end is very effective. Well done!

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