This is a really good storyline!! and i like the way you cant see there faces at the start. maybe make the cuts a bit quicker when she stabs him? the telly bit is really cool too 🙂 xx
The storyline is really good and i love the shots you have used. My definite favourite is the shot of him watching TV and the girl in the mirror…very cleverly filmed! Also i liked the over the shoulder, handheld shot at the beginning. I think you might have used different actors at some points which does make it a little confusing. Also when he dies i think it should be a bit quicker, and you might need to crop the ketchup bottle out of the shot when we see him dead? Kind of gives the game away! However the ending i have to say is the best bit; with the TV advert about knife crime – so clever! x
i like the beginning of the film when you have used the shaky camera to go along with her walking. The shot when she comes down the stairs that you have filmed in the mirror is very effective and creepy and created suspense and tension. The scene when the main male is killed i think might need to be re-filmed, because i think that Ali pauses for too long as she jumps from the cupboard. Also him dead isn’t very convincing as he appears to be smiling slightly and also you see the bottle of ketchup you have used as fake blood. The ending is really really effective and i think it is the perfect way to end your film. The empty room appears extremely eerie and the sense that he has been killed comes across clearly. The advert on the T.V is genius 🙂
The build up to the opening is great as the tension builds and builds. The handheld shot when walking down the stairs also suggests that he’s being watched which is really good. The use of the mirror of is great, but some flaws are how long the shot lasts with the overshoulder mid shot of the man watching tv does drag on. When the man is stabbed i felt th art where the woman kisses him is very clever. Overall it jut needs some shots to be shortened and cut out the ketchup! 🙂 x
the tension when the girl in the house is good, and i really like the high angle point of view shot when she looks down the stairs at him throwing the keys on the table. It was very confusing when the male character keeps changing, and we don’t know how to relate the blond man with the dark haired man. the Ketchup bottle in the murder scene is very obvious, and funny, although i felt there was not enough tension in the death scene, as the shadow and the dead man look fake. The setting was very good with simple lighting , and gave a creepy feeling, along with the ‘following’ element. well done.
I really love the mirror shots and the storyline, however to improve i suggest taking out and re-filming jonjos death maybe use a different murder weapon so you dont have to use blood..Smother or strangle perhaps? Don’t quite understand the beginning shot with the boy and girl on the bench. Mind the shadow of the camera when you go in to kiss his cheek! Love the beginning footage though and the tv shots! xx
Like the over the shoulder shots and reflection in the mirror of Ali x
I don’t understand the storyline because the pace is too slow and we are confused when we see Henry and Rosie and then Ali and Jonjo, what is this significance. Why is Jonjo bering killed as well?
The turning on the TV scene is too long and drawn out the tv which i know is not your problem takes forever to turn on so cut some of it out. i think the death should happen straight away and its too comical. REMOVE THE KETCHUP BOTTLE THAT WE CAN SEE IN THE SHOT as its obviously your blood!!!! 🙂
The kiss is effective as it shows the reason of killing is love and passion and thats the only thing I understood from the storyline.
Lucy and Jessi xxxx
Well there needs to be the same actor all the way through 😛 The death isn’t very convincing, ketchup doesn’t actually look like blood.. Who would of thought! Theres the obvious mistake with the ketchup bottle! But it definately has potential! x
Because of the change of actors I at first didn’t really get what its about. I like the story line, especially the mirror scene which is really effectiv. Ketchup as blood isn’t really effectiv 😀 x
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